5 Simple Ways to Transform Telling into Showing

“Show, don’t tell.” If you’ve spent any time with writers, you’ve probably heard this phrase tossed around. But what exactly does it mean?

What Is Showing vs. Telling?

Telling means explaining information directly. On the other hand, showing means describing images and actions that convey what you want to say without directly stating it. 

Readers don’t want to simply be told that your character is angry, the villain is dangerous, or the story world includes superpowers. Instead, they want to see these facts illustrated through dialogue, behavior, and details.

To transform telling into showing, answer this question posed by author and editor Jeff Gerke: “How would I show this information in a movie?” 

Showing vs. Telling in Action

Consider the following two excerpts.

Telling: 

John was frustrated by the layover at the airport. 

Showing: 

John stormed through the airport terminal and threw himself onto a seat in the waiting area. He glared at the screen that listed flights. Denver to Dallas—two-hour delay.
“Two precious hours wasted,” he muttered. 

The telling example blandly states John’s emotion and situation. This dry explanation prevents the audience from experiencing John’s frustration at a heart level.

On the other hand, the showing example uses details to illustrate John’s emotion and situation. The readers can see the action of this excerpt unfold like a movie in their minds.

Instead of telling readers that they should care, show them why they should care. 

5 Simple Ways to Transform Telling into Showing

1. Themes

The theme is the lesson that your characters learn in the story. Instead of telling the theme through lengthy lectures, you can show the theme by allowing the characters to experience the consequences of living according to the theme—or not. 

The World War II novel Saving Amelie by Cathy Gohlke explores self-sacrifice vs. selfishness. Many characters sacrifice their resources and lives to help others. By the end of the story, these characters reap the reward of a loving family. On the other hand, the villains pursue their selfish desires at all costs, which eventually leads to disappointment and emptiness. These positive and negative consequences show rather than tell the importance of self-sacrifice.

2. Characters’ personalities

Instead of stating that Amanda is talkative and outgoing, show her telling stories that keep her friends laughing. Instead of stating that Oliver is studious and analytical, show him poring over his textbooks and meticulously checking his work.

Choose specific actions that clearly indicate a particular personality trait. Angela Ackerman and Becca Puglisi’s Positive Trait Thesaurus and Negative Trait Thesaurus list dozens of personality traits, as well as associated behaviors, actions, and tendencies for each trait.

3. The story world

Instead of info-dumping, show the details of your story world in relevant ways. In The Immortal Abyss by Katherine Briggs, many characters wield fire powers of various levels. Rather than presenting long explanations of these abilities, Briggs shows the protagonist using her powers, training with them, and interacting with other fire wielders. The story engages readers by allowing them to witness this worldbuilding detail for themselves. 

4. Emotions

As illustrated in the example with John’s airport layover, showing emotion is much more powerful than telling it. Ackerman and Puglisi’s Emotion Thesaurus lists thoughts, body language, internal reactions, and other indicators of over one hundred different emotions. 

When describing emotions, try to avoid naming them. For example: 

“Are you ready to go camping?” Tom asked. 
Katie looked excited. “I’ve been waiting all month!” 

Instead of naming the emotion, try describing Katie’s expression with specific details that readers can easily picture: 

“Are you ready to go camping?” Tom asked. 
Katie bounced in place. “I’ve been waiting all month!” 

5. Dialogue

When revising dialogue, make sure your characters aren’t telling each other things merely for the readers’ benefit. Screenwriter Blake Snyder calls this error “talking the plot.” For example: 

Megan handed me a cup. “I got you a peppermint latte because I know it’s your favorite.” 
“Thanks!” I took a sip. “It’s been my favorite ever since we became friends five years ago.” 

The underlined sections of dialogue are unnecessary because they present information that both characters already know. Their friendship should be shown through their interactions, not through stilted explanations. 

Don’t use your dialogue to explain things. Instead, let your characters’ dialogue flow naturally from their goals and beliefs.

Showing Made Simple

In most cases, authors should show rather than tell their stories. Depict the positive consequences of living according to your theme. Illustrate your characters’ personalities through specific behaviors, and allow them to interact with aspects of your story world. Use body language and interactions to portray powerful emotions. Finally, avoid using dialogue to explain your plot.

When you replace explanations with details, actions, and dialogue, your stories will play in the theaters of readers’ minds as vividly as their favorite movies.

Caveat: Sometimes Telling Is Better Than Showing

Although many components of fiction benefit from showing rather than telling, some situations might require telling instead of showing. For example, if your characters eat at a restaurant, you can usually just tell us that they ordered their food instead of presenting a play-by-play of each person’s order. 

In the next post, we’ll explore several situations in which the principle “show, don’t tell” does not apply. Instead of adhering rigidly to this rule, it’s important to know when to show and when to tell.

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What tools do you use to show rather than tell your stories?

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